What, You Don’t Like Trump’s Tesla Ad?
You anti-Trump people are so petty.
I really don’t understand the problem people have with President Trump doing a commercial for Musk’s Tesla cars on the lawn of the White House. Frankly, I think the anti-Trump crowd is being petty. America is about business. Trade, commerce, manufacturing are what made us great.
I do have to admit that in watching the commercial I didn’t find it as entertaining as his Depends ad. That was a classic.
I don’t know how many of you remember it, but I found it quite informative. I am approaching the age at which I might have to make use of the product and appreciated learning about its benefits.
As the President pointed out, we older people can sometimes encounter times of stress which can cause an embarrassing “accident”. In his commercial Trump explained “When I get that angry call from the boss, I sometimes find I’m about to shit in my pants! Putin can be quite intimidating. Thank god I have my Depends to keep me from soiling my suit! And it saves you taxpayers money, because who do you think pays the dry cleaning bill?!”
Clear, entertaining, and informative. Frankly I think that kind of thing should be encouraged.
His condom commercial was also pretty good.
“Suffering from tertiary syphilis? Have you found yourself experiencing numbness, confusion and memory loss? I know I have! My ability to feel empathy is completely numb, I often am confused about who is President, me or Elon, and I often forget that Russia is not our friend! If only I had used Boebert’s Candy Flavored Condoms when I fucked my way across New York, sometimes assaulting unsuspecting women! And don’t you wish my parents had used them back in 1945 when they celebrated the reconquest of Domodossola by Nazi and Italian Fascist troops! Think of the problems that would have prevented!”
I do understand the criticism of his commercial for Vlad the Mad Russian. We have perfectly good vodka made here in the United States. They even make some in my home state of North Carolina, though I prefer a brand made in San Francisco. But you can’t criticize the production values of the ad, with the troupe of dancing Red Army soldiers and the full bosomed “Daughters of the Volga.”
How did the ad go again?
“Don’t get me wrong, I ain’t Russian ya to buy Russian! But we got Mad Vlad down here with rivers of vodka and mounds of caviar! And how about the fur hats and boots on those lovely ladies! One of them gals, a bottle of vodka, and those things on yer head and tootsies and you’ll even be warm in a Siberian gulag! But hold yer horses! As soon as Vlad sweeps across Ukraine we’ll have the finest honey, sunflowers and rare earth metals! Come on down and taste the betrayal!”
His ad for Blobby Kennedy Jr’s Snake and Cod Liver Oil was more along the lines of what a President of the United States should do. Selling good old American products. That ad was masterful in its advocacy of the best traditions in American medicine. Much better than that fancy sciency stuff we have now.
Oh, you remember that commercial!
“Feeling tired and run down? Try some of Blobby K’s Traditional American Snake and Cod Liver Oil! It’ll get you back on yer feet in no time! Have you ‘got the gravel’, what those smart alec doctors call ‘kidney stones’? Well, just try my juice of horse-radish syrup mixed with sugar! A spoonful every four hours will cure ya’ fer sure! How about arthritis? Just carry some of our special buckshot in yer pocket! You can also supplement with our powdered ashes of turtle shell! Don’t poison yerself with the concoctions of charlatans with white coats and fancy degrees! Trust Blobby K, The Doctor of Common Sense Healin’.”
But I suppose Trump’s most classic ad was for Crazy Donnie’s Used Ideologies.
“Come on down to Crazy Donnie’s where we have the finest used ideologies!
In the market for some good old fashioned fascism! We have all the classics to choose from! Italian, Spanish, Portuguese! We even have a stock of high powered Nazism for the true connoisseur! Want something more in a ‘Western Hemisphere’ style? We’ve got Chilean, Argentinian, and Brazilian, fresh off the boat and priced to go!
How about something in more of a classic style? Try our monarchy, oligarchy, and my pal Elon’s favorite- plutocracy!
Or maybe you want something to go along with that fur hat, boots, and big bottle of vodka you bought from Mad Vlad the Crazy Russian! In that case we have our new special neo-fascist-kleptocratic mix! Just the thing for those who want to enrich their friends at the expense of the nation!
Oh, so you want something more on the subtle side! In that case try our Anti-Constitutional Authoritarian Presidency with Re-Engineered Jim Crow!
Whatever your oligarchical-fascist-authoritarian needs, we’ve got you covered!”
This is why I simply can’t agree with those of you slamming Trump for doing that Tesla commercial for his pal Elon. It’s not like we’ve never seen this stuff before. Clearly you are suffering from a bad case of Trump Derangement Syndrome.
Or anyway, somebody is.
